Perpetuality of marriage

Zena Birhanu /Dn/

The purpose and the meaning of marriage will help us to handle the issue in due respect. One of the essences of marriage is its perpetuality. Marriage doesn't have an end. After it is stabilized, marriage is supposed to grow stronger and larger.

The love between husband and wife increases more and more. They become intimate and acqintanted. Their exemplerary manners will be shared by other members in the family.

There is no risk for their unity as long as it is established on true love. The book says # Love is strong as death $ / song of songs 8: 5-7/. So the manifestation of love is its strength. Even the fleshly death cannot win and resist love.

In marital life, it is very important to understand from the beginning the purpose and the essence of marriage. Since considering marriage as unholy and an improper ordinance is an evil thought, rectifying and shayening such thoughts are the first action before establishing a marital life. There are also many other thoughts that are challenging the perpetuality of marriage. The Fetha Negest /one of the books of the church/ has discussed some of the wrong premises hold by individuals while they are trying to establish marriage. One is being driver by sexual errotic desire which must not be the base to marriage establishment. This ususlly results from external beauty, that fades through time and which turn intoxictes marriage. Similarly, welth or Ethnicity based marrige results in unhealthy life. All such premises challenge the perpetuality of marriage.

•  Divorce

It is known that there are many types and varities of marriage in the world. In relation to this, divorce has become customary. Furthermore, husband and wife are preparing themselves how to get separated and divorced even before they got married. The type of marriage where the two are thinking about mechanisms of divorce ahead of the happening of the event is not a life of happiness. It is rather of anxiety.

In Fetha Negest, the following points are identified as possible causes of divorce

•  If one of them is deceased and the one who is alive wants to marry again relishe can re-marry waiting for the time limit. A man who has lost his wife has to wait a year to establish another marriage and for a woman it is 10 months. So, here we see death as a divorce by itself.

•  If one of them is breaking law of not committing adultery. If the victim /the one who hasn't committed adultery/ doesn't want to continue the relationship, the case of divorce can be seen by the arbitration of the church.

•  If there is a chronic illness that inhibits sexual inter-course and at this time the partner wants to get divorced, this case can be seen again by the arbitration of the church.

The crux of the church's teaching regarding marriage is that after the two become one body it is not possible by any reason to break the marriage by the power of man. In Christianity, marriage is a life to go up to death and not a life of making various reasons for divorce or separtation. One of the vows during the matrimony is that talks about not bringing any justification to the disorganization of the marriage. /see the whole vow in the book of matrimony/.

•  Virginity

As it is written in the Holy Scriptures virginity is one of the natural gifts. It is proper to remind at this point that virginity is the other alternative life line to marriage. In the Bible virgins are mostly called as eunuch /Is.56: 6 mat.19 ¸ 29/. In the New Testament merit is written about them /Rev.14:4/. As he taught us marriage is the will of God, our Lord Jesus Christ also taught us it is possible to reach the heavenly kingdom by leaving aside marrying by one's own will. /matt.19 ¸ 5-5 Mark.10 ¸ 29/.

Virginity is the abstinence from sexual intercourse.

According to the Fetha Negest if someone is able to regulate his /her sexual errotic desire or if he/she is in the tradition of sublimation, he/she is advised not to marry. In other words this kind of person is a preson whose four natures /the four essences of the flesh/ are incongruance.

For the glory of the service, it is said that being virgin is better than marrying. This is because married and unmarried people could not serve God equally, in the sense that the unmarried one can give all his/ her time to God but the married one can do only part of it.

Hence, the life of virginity is a life where one serves God in devotion without divisibility of thoughts in the heart. This is the objective of virginity. St. paul has revealed this fact in his epistle to the Corintians. /1 cor.7/. /To be continued/.

  The lessons of this lent has finished.
Glory to God and Holy Mary.      

May God Bless us, Amen.